For me, spittoons used to conjure up images of cowboys firing globs like bullets into metal jugs with a ping. Now that image is rigidly replaced by black buckets or large cardboard bins emblazoned with the word “crachoir” (that’s the French for spitton). I use these at every festival and I’m here to tell you all about them whether you’re someone who wants to start using them or a fellow festivalgoer who thinks I’m insane.

What do I use the spittoon for?

Not just spitting but tipping too! It’s a place to put the water you’re using when you rinse your glass between spirits, as well as a place to tip an unwanted drink too. Tipping out is what most people actually use them for rather than spitting. Get used to pouring away things you don’t want rather than feeling obliged to drink them.

What does it look like?

You’re looking for a black bucket with handles on the sides and a funnel on top. Sometimes you might get a silver metal bucket or a bucket with no funnel. If the bucket has no funnel, check there’s not any ice in there (very occasionally stands might have an ice bucket). Spittoons can also be cardboard bins in corners. You may also find more vase shaped ones but I’ve never seen those outside wine tastings.

How do I spit?

A fair question. Few of us ever consciously think about spitting and it can feel unnatural at first.

1. Note where the spittoon is and if it isn’t within reach go get it. You can either bring it up to your mouth or bend down towards it, it’s just a matter of space and convenience. 

2. Take a small sip of the spirit and move it around your mouth for a few seconds, noting the feel and flavour.

3. When you’re ready, spit it out by getting your face a few inches from the spittoon, and push the liquid out with your lips and tongue towards the centre.

4. Decide if you want to take another sip and if you want to swallow it to experience it in greater depth.

There’s no shame in practicing at home. Sip some water over your sink and try spitting it out in a short clean burst with no drips. 

What if I spit incorrectly?

I won’t lie, it is theoretically possible for your spittle to push the limits of physics and splatter everywhere, or for you to miss the spittoon entirely in a drunken haze. I’ve never seen the former happen and the latter is quickly prevented by just using the spittoons so you never get to that stage of being pissed.

I’ve definitely had a little bit of spit go the wrong way if someone has jostled my arm whilst I’m using the spittoon but that’s a one off. I also have Dyspraxia which makes some physical tasks challenging, but I’ve never had trouble with spittoons. You can also pack a handkerchief if you are worried about drips on light fabrics.

Why should I use the spittoon?

1. You’ll be less drunk and can therefore try more drinks to find the ones you really like, then you can swallow all of those.
2. By being less drunk you’ll be better placed to make purchase decisions and won’t have buyer’s remorse.
3. You may find that spitting keeps your palate fresher for longer too.
4. You’ll probably have a less sore head in the morning, perfect for a multi-day festival.
5. Even if you don’t plan on using it often, knowing how to use a spittoon will come in handy if you get poured a drink you hate.

Will people judge me for spitting?

Yeah, some people will, and they can fuck off. All spirits (not just whisky) have their snobs, and that includes people who think that spitting their product out at a tasting event is a crime. Don’t let other people embarrass you into drinking more of a product that can and will harm your health if you don’t respect it.

Awkward moments can and will happen I’m afraid. I had a rum brand ambassador cry out in horror as I used the spittoon on their stand. They thought it was a food and sample cup bin even though it had “crachoir” written on the side. Some brands will hide their spittoons on the floor or behind the counter so as to not mess up their displays. This is fair enough, so just ask for it before you start drinking.

It is possible that some folks might have a rare pour hiding under the counter that they don’t want to share with someone who’s spat out all their core range products. However, if you never saw it, was it even there? Being friendly, enthusiastic and a potential buyer will usually mitigate this anyway. I sometimes get told “don’t spit this out” before being handed something rare and I’ll take that compromise.

Anything else?

You are responsible for your own health and wellbeing. At the end of the day it is always better to be the person going home happy (and maybe with a new bottle for the collection) than the person being carted out by security or vomiting in the corner.

Spittoons let you enjoy more booze with less risk. I bloody love spittoons.